A Page From The Diary Of An Ugly Girl

Dear Diary,

I hope you remember that today was my cousin’s marriage. I was eagerly waiting for this day. She was the princess of my uncle and was going to be the queen of my brother-in-law. In perfect tuning to her past, present, and future positions, she is beautiful in the eyes of our society: fair, tall, slim with deep, dark eyes, brown hair that fell down like a cascade and what not! Sometimes, I am incapable of expressing her God-gifted beauty. Not to mention, she is educated and earning a handsome salary. In a nutshell my cousin, Raima Di is a perfect example of “Beauty with Brains”. No doubt, she grabbed the attention of all the pairs of eyes that met hers.

But you know what Diary, I feel inferior to her all the time. I don’t know why. Sometimes, it’s my fault too and sometimes, others’ (I don’t know, I get confused.) Do you know what happened in the evening? I became so sad. I couldn’t even say this to my Mom. But I’ll tell you because you’re the only one to whom I can confide fully without getting judged.

Okay, so in the evening, I was in the dressing room where many women of the bride’s side were getting decked up for the function. I had my yellow saree and my makeup kit with me. Seeing my yellow saree, one auntie remarked:

“You won’t look good in that yellow color. It’s for the fairer people. Better you wear some purple or black.”

I was dumb-struck. I cringed in utter helplessness.

“Auntie, I just have only this saree.”

“You should have been careful while buying it. Why didn’t your mother buy some dark colored sarees for you?”

I decided not to answer and went to another room for getting dressed up.

Whether I liked yellow did not get priority but that I was dark will determine which color would suit me. And in the midst of all this nuisance, she insulted my mother too. Huh!! Others did not say anything but I felt their silent eyes supported that auntie’s comment. Tell me Diary, why did God use less white color when he made me? Else my mother would have been spared from insult today. 😦

Anyways, I ignored her and wore that yellow saree. Only I know how happy I was wearing it. I went to the place where Raima Di was sitting and sat next to her. The guests had begun to arrive. The photographers were taking my cousin’s pictures at different angles. Suddenly one of them said, “Hey girl, why don’t you sit away from the bride. The pictures will be better.”

I again cringed and held my head down. All my joy dried up within a fraction of a second. 😥 😥 Even my cousin said, “Take that chair and sit on that side.”, pointing her finger to the farthest corner of the room. Not a single person said anything. No protests for me! I cringed and did as said. I know it was wrong but didn’t have the courage to say anything. It was after all Raima di’s big day and I didn’t want to hurt her. But why do people hurt me with their words? Why do they always point out to me and my complexion? Am I so ugly that I will ruin someone’s pictures? Oh God, answer me! 😥 😥

Then I decided to have some food and left the function. I never imagined such things would be waiting for me on the night for which I was waiting for months.

Well, it’s time to say you good night, Diary. Take care. Bye!

Yours ever,

Titli (Miss Butterfly)

[ via the Daily Prompt: Cringe ]

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