The Monolog Of A Passionate Lover

I still remember that day when one of your text messages said, “Right now, I am emotionally unavailable. I just don’t want you to leave dangling in the air for you are my best friend. Please understand me. I am sorry.”

And only my soft pillow knew I shed a thousand tears that night yet all my messages that replied your ones’, contained numerous smileys to make you feel less guilty. Rejection from my best friend broke my heart into pieces yet I smilingly bore all the pain. Yeah, I was committed to you from my heart.


Fast forward some months, I noticed you were changing as every day passed. The person with whom I spent talking for hours, though separated by immutable distance yet close to my heart, was changing. With those minute deviations from the norm that defined you to me, you were becoming a stranger to me with bundles of memories. I texted you, trying every possible means to know how you were, but the reciprocation of the same from the other end was missing with the passage of time. My texts went unanswered for days but the blue ticks were there. Your actions were taking a toll on our friendship too. Well, the ship of the friendship was what that bound us for a span of a decade, even if the unborn romance died a painful death.

I cried with every thought of you walking through the fine nerves of my brain yet my pains went unnoticed. I asked myself, “Did he care for me at all?”. And I failed to answer this little question each time. You never knew it was disastrous to my soul. Still, I was committed to you and your friendship, for you had taken a part of me which I could never get back again.


Even after all of this, you wanted to meet me in person, just to spend some golden moments with your best friend. And as we were cracking funny jokes and laughed our hearts out, my heart danced with joy. It felt like I got my friend back. My lips were about to have the first sip of the coffee, you ordered for me, and then you broke the news – the news that shook my world:

“Do you remember Shaini from your school?”

“Yes. She was a sick-looking girl of our class but discontinued after class 4 or 5.”

“Sick looking?”, you broke into a wide laughter, “Well, I’m committed to her now. She’s my girlfriend.”

Your words created a vacuum in my mouth, a hole in my innocent, delicate heart and a sense of helplessness in my brain. As the hole pierced the soft tissues, fracturing my heart bit by bit, and my helplessness was turning into dizziness, the hot coffee paved its’ way up from the mouth to my throat, burning the inner linings of the food canal, to make me stay in reality. My brain was still strong and immediately signaled my lips to stretch out in a wide grin while it tried it’s best to drown the wonderful news down the darkness of the stomach. My eyes shone in a mixed emotion of fake happiness and true sorrow. The real tears lingered in the nooks of my sober eyes but my brain was quick enough to hide them from any other pair of eyes.

Yeah, even after all this, I am still committed to you, as a friend and as a lover who could wish nothing but the best for you!

— via Daily Prompt: Commit





15 thoughts on “The Monolog Of A Passionate Lover

  1. Hey maitryayee…is it your story…if yes…
    Its similar to me as you already told me.
    I just want to say i guess he still consider you as your best friend. I just hope u both will again become really bestest wale friend…

    And yeah one more thing…you seems similar like my bestie… i have some emotional connect with all such articles and now with u too😊…
    Hope you get ur best friend back again dear.

    Liked by 1 person

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